anticipation...is making me wait...

Anticipation. It's there. I don't know exactly why... but it's there. So, I wait.

I love the way the Holy Spirit works in me. Often He guides my steps without me really knowing it until I look back and see in hindsight that the path I have been on was ordained by the Creator of the universe. Other times, I doubt and question each little step. It is as if there is no light in front of me and I'm venturing into the unknown with my hand held out in front of me and my steps slow and unsure. Once again, hindsight shows that He was lighting each step one at a time as I stepped out in faith.

Then, there are times like now. Actually, now means the last year or so. I have this soul-deep feeling that I am on the brink of something incredible. Something God ordained, God honoring, God directed... something of which I am an integral part. Yet, I have NO idea what it is. Actually, I have a small idea but for the life of me, I can't figure out how it all plays out. All I know is that there are times, like today, when this feeling is overwhelming and I can hardly stand the wait.

As a child, Christmas mornings held this kind of anticipation for me. I would rally my family, usually around 6 a.m. and we would gather around our Christmas tree. All six of us would be full of anticipation. Not only for what we hoped we would receive but also the hope that others would like what we had given them. I have incredibly fond memories of Christmas morning. Lots of love, laughter and often tears of joy. Anticipation always brings back those fond memories.

I think this current anticipation has something to do with the LORD having more writing or even speaking for me to do. I don't know any more than that. As I was walking today, I was telling my LORD all of the reasons why He shouldn't chose me and at the very same time I was full of anticipation of what He could do in me and through me.

So, my anticipation makes me wait. I don't want to do anything other than what He has ordained for me to do. Nothing more. Nothing less. Nothing else.

In the morning, O LORD, you hear my voice;
in the morning I lay my requests before you
and wait in expectation.

Psalm 5:3