Beautiful Me... the conclusion

On Wednesday, I posted about an incredible opportunity I had today to be part of a local fashion show for our area cancer care fund.  

I have the world's greatest friends!!  Rachelle (on left) and Ginger (on right) spent their Sunday afternoon with me passing out approximately 90 coupons for a free copy of The Secret of Counting Gifts...

We passed out some chocolate too... because chocolate makes every day better, right?

It was a blessing to see three women I have prayed for model for the fashion show.  They are truly beautiful!


... and, the two incredible young women who organized this event helped raise over $1000 for our local community cancer fund.  A beautiful afternoon at Beautiful Me!

reflections of beauty...

mirrors... 

reflecting the one peering in...

seeing what I like

overlooking the rest

children... 

reflecting the one scrutinizing...

seeing what I don't like

ignoring the rest

so often I see myself

in the eyes that look back 

I quickly notice their faults

but overlook my own...

why is it that I so quickly see

their small blemish...

really no bigger than a freckle

and so easily fail to see

my gross sin...

a large growth choking out my heart?

Perhaps

God gave me these children

to be a mirror to my heart...

showing me how He sees me...

grace covering imperfection

love seeing beauty.

mirrors...

a lesson in giving grace...

seeing true beauty.

my own beauty...

I've re-written this post three times today.  My heart is heavy with thoughts and my mind can't find cohesive words to express them.

The jist of the issue is this... I see beauty all around me but can't see beauty in the mirror.  

In countless ways and over countless days I have blamed God for this.  I blame Him for creating me in a way that I think is less than stellar.  Most recently, I also blame Him for the 40 lbs I gained in 8 months after my hysterectomy four years ago.  I have hated the way that He created me for so long, I can't remember ever feeling any different.

Quietly... kindly... softly... gently... He is pursing my heart through prayer, Bible study, His creation, blogging and through my friend Lisa's blog.

I'm learning the choice is mine... surrender my thoughts and trust the thoughts of a God whose ways are higher than mine and whose thoughts I could never even come close to comprehending... or continue in my path of self-destruction.

I will choose, this day, to see beauty in the mirror because blaming God has gotten me no where but more miserable... He is God, I am not.

But who are you, O man, to talk back to God? 

Shall what is formed say to him who formed it, 

'Why did you make me like this?

Romans 9:20