craving bread...

I've been craving bread lately...

Then Jesus declared, “I am the bread of life. 

Whoever comes to me will never go hungry"

John 6:35 (NIV)

 “Father, if you are willing, take this cup from me; 

yet not my will, but yours be done.”

Luke 22:42 (NIV)

But He was wounded for our transgressions,
He was bruised for our iniquities;
The chastisement for our peace was upon Him,
And by His stripes we are healed

Isaiah 53:5 (NKJV)

Jesus said to them, 

“Very truly I tell you, it is not Moses who has given you 

the bread from heaven, 

but it is my Father who gives you the true bread

 from heaven. 

For the bread of God is the bread that comes down from heaven 

and gives life to the world.”

John 6:32-33 (NIV)

 The Lord Jesus, on the night he was betrayed, 

took bread, and when he had given thanks, 

he broke it and said,“This is my body, which is for you; 

do this in remembrance of me."

1 Corinthians 11:23-24 (NIV)

Taste and see that the Lord is good;
    blessed is the one who takes refuge in him.

Psalm 34:8 (NIV)

The fear of the Lord is clean, enduring forever;
The judgments of the Lord are true and righteous altogether.
 More to be desired are they than gold,
Yea, than much fine gold;
Sweeter also than honey and the honeycomb

Psalm 19:9-10 (NKJV)

Is there any greater thanks

than to thank Him for what He has done?

Is there any greater way

to counteract the disappointments of life

than to give thanks?

eucharist = eucharisteo 

giving thanks again today

even when it's hard to make sense of life

Sweeter than Honeycomb Unleavened Bread Recipe:

3/4 c. scaled milk

1 egg

1/4 c. honey

1/4 c. butter, melted

2 1/2 c. flour

mix together milk, egg, honey, and butter.  Stir in flour until well mixed.  Knead on floured board or counter until smooth.  Cut in half.  Roll each half out and cut into desired shapes/pieces.  Bake on ungreased cookie sheet for 8-10 min at 375 or until lightly browned.

team of two on GratiTuesday...

A week ago, we celebrated our eighteenth wedding anniversary... nothing fancy, just lunch out at an authentic taco stand.  The fact that he had returned to home the night before from eight days in Guatemala was enough for me.

I missed him while he was gone.... I missed him much!  Isn't it amazing what we don't realize we have until it's gone?  The void of him gone was much bigger than the hole in my heart that he filled all those years ago.  

Know what I missed the most, though?  I missed my teammate.  For these years, we've been a team.  Sometimes we've been amazing together... like the Chicago Bulls of the 1990s... we've been unstoppable.  During those times, women have commented to me, "I wish I had a marriage like yours."  It was good.

We've also been a team much like last year's Indianapolis Colts.  Times where one (or both) of us has abdicated our role and stepped out of the game.  It becomes quite obvious that you can't play without all the players.  Though no one said this, I wonder if people often thought, "why do they bother to stay married?"  It wasn't so good.

Years ago, my brother and sister in law wrote a marriage curriculum called "Team of Two."  At the time, they were a team of two, a family of two.  I ignorantly thought that that title had nothing to do with me because we were a team of four, almost five.  I missed the point... I think I even missed the entire target.  Their team of two was their marriage, not their family.  The two of them, regardless of how many children come later, were a team and they played the game of life together, both fulfilling their God-given roles.  Together their team was a force to reckon.

On this GratiTuesday, I'm respectfully borrowing Steve and Susy's title...  I am so grateful for my team of two!  Life is not easy and in these years of driving children to and fro and passing the baton back and forth, I often lose heart.  I'm easily overwhelmed with the details of when... where... and for how long.  Yesterday was one of those days.  A day where Chad was on call for surgery (this really means, don't count on him but he may be around...).  I've considered typing out the driving schedule I had yesterday for posterity but it really doesn't matter... it was simply a very busy day, and I thought I was the sole driver.  I forgot, for a moment, that we are a team of two.  The reminder came when the text came...

I'm off.  I will come get Eric and take him to work.

I was reminded, again, that I'm not in this parenting game alone.  I'm not in this marriage game alone.  I'm not even in the game of life alone.  I am in those things as a team member and thus, it doesn't fall on me to make sure the game happens.  Instead, we do it together, and I am grateful!

when someone believed in me...

My heart is full of gratitude because someone believes in me... 

...and in this pipe dream I have.

Sometimes we go through life chasing shadows and pipe dreams... sometimes we share those dreams with others and other times we chase them alone.  

When a dream is a group effort we spur one another on... encouraging and exhorting, praying and praising... a community dream becomes a community effort, and no one person takes all the credit or all the blame.  

Then, there are the times we go it alone... and the road gets lonely... there's no traffic in sight.  Those are the times it's easiest to give up on the dream... we convince ourselves its time to grow up, give up the dream and return to reality.

What happens though when someone else believes in the dream?  I wonder... how many pipe dreams could have become the new reality if someone else would have met the dreamer where they were and walked a bit of the journey with them?  Would they have encouraged them enough to stay in the chase?  To not give up?  To not give in?

This journey of authorship didn't begin when my fingers typed words on the computer screen, nor did it end when I clicked "publish."  Instead, it's an ongoing journey... one that I feel as if I'm forging as I go... so often in over my head and gurgling as the waves wash over me.  I know it's a God-sized dream and I desperately lack the God-size faith to see it through.

...then He moves.

He brings along someone who says "because I believe in you, I want to invest in you" handing me money to move forward with printed copies of The Secret of Counting Gifts.  Print-on-demand copies available through major retailers... a real-live-hold-in-your-hands-and-turn-the-pages kind of book... with my name on it...

...because someone believed in me.

And... all I can do is say "THANK YOU! THANK YOU!! THANK YOU!!!" and continue chasing the dream.

~*~

joining in with GratiTuesday again at Heavenly Homemakers... 

grateful for Guatemala...

I miss her... this almost 13 year old of mine... and I miss then one she is with more.  I miss them with my whole heart... this heart of mine that is tied up in knots this week.  


I know that she will return on Sunday full of smiles and stories and joy.  She will tell me about surgeries she watched and patients she helped for pre-op or post-op.  She will tell me of her love of Guatemala and its people... and of her love for all things medicine.  She will return and I will hold on to her for a little while longer.


This picture... its the future of Emme.  There will be a day when she will go... and stay.  I am confident of this... for I know her heart.  I know that her heart was made to serve in this way.  My mother's brain knows this... my mother's heart ties up in a new knot... and I pray.


I pray much this week.  I think I pray for me more than for them.  I pray that somehow I will make it through.  I count the days (5 1/2 more...) as I lie awake at night.  Then I do what my heart is being conditioned to do... I count gifts.  


I give thanks.

I thank Him for Guatemala and for this opportunity.  

I thank Him that Guatemala has stolen her heart and his.  

I thank Him for what she will see and what she will do.  

I thank Him for His work... started last year at this time in an 11 year-old heart.  

I thank Him that she loves what she is doing this week.  

I thank Him for modern technology that I could even get this picture across the miles

and across a continent.

...because the honest answer is I wasn't grateful and I wasn't giving thanks last week.  I sent them off with a heart full of resentment.  I told him so.  I spewed venomous words in my anger.  He took those words with him when I dropped them off.  I brought the resentful heart home with me.

God's been working on the resentment.  He's showing me that gratitude is the cure for a good many things... discontentment, jealousy, pride, anger, self-righteousness... and resentment.  It's a lesson I hate learning, but one I need!

...so I look at this picture of this girl I love and I thank Him for Guatemala.