field trips...

I love that my God patiently leads and guides me. I love that nothing goes unnoticed by Him. I love that He is constantly at work in my life and in my heart molding me and shaping me more into His image.

I love that He is the Great Teacher and that He wants to teach me how to be a better wife, a better mom and a better teacher to the three incredible gifts that He has given me. I love that He wants to teach me how to be more Christ-like and how to live in the shadow of His love... Though I love that He teaches me, I can't say that I always love the lessons.

I wish I were the type of person who always learned the lesson in the classroom. I'd like to say that when I learn something about God or how I should be as a Believer, wife or mother, I go and immediately put that into practice. I'd like to say that I always do it His way. But, that would be lying....

Instead, I'm often a field-trip learner. It seems like God lets me learn some of my lessons the hard way... on the field trip where I have to have to put into practice what I'm learning and I have to live with the consequences of my actions.

As a child, I loved field trip days. I vividly remember visiting the Gerber Baby Company, the John Ball Park Zoo, the Shrine Circus and other field trips in elementary school. I remember the anticipation and the excitement in the bus on the way to our destination, as well as the fatigue on the way home. Field trip days were awesome!

The funny thing is, I still go on field trips. Spiritual field trips ... over and over and over again (...I'm not the brightest bulb in the box, let me tell you). I look forward to them because I think I learn something better my way than His way. I look forward to them because I want to do things my way, by myself... because, of course, I am more than capable and my way is better than His. My sinful heart convinces me that field trips are still awesome.

And, then, every single time, I find myself lost and alone in the midst of a wild field trip and have to call out "Help!" By that time, the field trip has lost it's anticipation and excitement and more than fatigue has taken over. I'm lost. I'm cold. I'm alone.

He finds me. He wasn't lost, I was... and He draws me close to Him, again... and again... and again. I sob. I cling. I rest. I promise to never, ever, do that again. I promise to stay close, to stay in His classroom, to learn at His feet.

And... I always tell myself it is much better to learn in the classroom than on the field trip... until the next time...