the start of surrender...day 4

"If God gave me the choice of 

still being pregnant with Matthew 

and delivering him safe and healthy or 

leaving Matthew safe in His arms

and keeping all that I've learned about

my Savior,

I'd choose to leave Matthew with Him

and be grateful for all He has taught me."

Those really are the words I spoke to a friend just a few weeks after burying our stillborn son, Matthew... over 9 years ago.   

Although I didn't know it, surrendering my stillborn son was the beginning of a journey.  A journey of learning to surrender all into His care... to turn all my ups and downs, all my hurts and pains, all my gifts and talents, all of my future and all of my past over to the One who knows me best.

It's not been an easy journey, nor has it always been joyful.  The journey is not finished, nor will it be until I see Him face to face.  However, it has been a wonderful journey of learning to let go and let Him work in me.