Today I can't decide on one thing to be most grateful for... instead I have two. Today is Chad's annual heart CT and I am so grateful for praying family and friends and God's severe mercy. Two and half years ago, we learned that my man is walking around with an ascending aortic aneurysm that needs to be monitored annually... and today is the day for the new pictures of Chad's heart.
This journey has been a very difficult one for me. I don't "wait and see" very well. In fact, if I don't surrender my thoughts to the One who holds Chad in His very hands, I can easily find myself panicking... "what if...". Some days are good surrender days and others... well, not so much. Though it has been difficult, I can honestly say it has been good... a gift to me of God's severe mercy. His mercy that carries Chad and I through.
I'm also learning to ask for prayer for myself... for peace and joy in this journey. It's hard to ask. I do things like ugly cries when I ask. In fact, Sunday morning I raised my hand to ask for prayer for today and before I got the words out the ugly cry started. All I could say was "Please pray for Chad on Tuesday... it's time to take pictures of his heart again." There are those in our church who have been praying about this for as long as we have. They know all about it but there are others who don't know about Chad's anomaly. I'm sure they were really concerned about why Chad was having a photo session with his heart but I didn't have it in me to pull myself together to clarify.
Today, I woke to a text on my phone from friends reminding me that they are praying today... and I am grateful for them, their prayers and my God's severe mercy in our lives.
...thank You LORD for that reminder this morning.
Thank You for Your severe mercy often shown to me
through family and friends who love us, pray for us and encourage us!