Wednesday, February 08, 2012

600...

I remember asking my 6th grade English teacher to sign my yearbook.  She handed it back with a smile.  


May you grow intellectually
as you are growing verbally.

I haven't seen that yearbook in a many, many years... but I have never forgotten her words.

Now, all these years later, I wonder if I ever did grow intellectually.  The fact that this is my 600th post on this blog is a testimony to the fact that to this day, I continue to grow verbally.  

I {heart} words.  I think I inherited this from my mom.  She loves words more than anyone I know and has a vocabulary that is stellar.  I can only hope to ever come close. 

I love words and using words.  Stringing them together into sentences that are powerful with just a few words is my favorite challenge.  Writing is my creative outlet.  Words become so much more when tied together.  

Words also have the ability to heal or destroy.  The power rests in the tongue.  Such a small muscle that wields such great strength.   I often allow my tongue to run at will rather than exercise the self-control to reign it in.  The result is usually devastation of some sort.

Thirty years ago, my sixth grade English teacher was on to something.  I think if I were to grow intellectually, I would learn to use my verbal skills for good rather than harm.   

I wish it wouldn't have taken my thirty years to see her wisdom.

Monday, February 06, 2012

in awe... again...

It seems as if the last few years have brought some new weather phenomena to our little sleepy town... or maybe I'm finally growing up enough to notice things happening outside the walls of me... or maybe both.  Either way, I love the way God brings about weather and shows His power through it.


We've had thundersnow {which is the absolute BEST of both worlds!}, a couple of inches of snow when it's been 36*, and twice in the past 30 hours... freezing fog.  


Breathtaking!


It also seems as if the past few weeks have brought me a new love for God and His Word.  I have had a deep love for Scripture for a long time.  However, my sinful self's love ebbs and flows.  I wish it were deep and abiding.  I wish I didn't go days without opening my Bible... or days looking for it.   I want to always be in awe of God's Word.  I'm not.


So, I pray... especially on the days I can't even find my Bible.  I ask for Him to renew me... to give me a hunger for His Word... to make my heart crave it... to be in awe... again.


He is always, always, always faithful... again.

He showed me this in Job, and I laughed out loud... 

At this also my heart trembles,
and leaps from it's place.
Listen closely to the thunder of His voice,
and the rumbling that goes out from His mouth.
Under the whole heaven He lets it loose,
and His lightening to the ends of the earth....
God thunders with His voice wondrously
doing great things which we cannot comprehend.
For to the snow He says, "Fall on the earth,"
and to the downpour and the rain, "Be strong."

...this is me.  My heart trembles and my pulse quickens when I see the strength of my God played out in weather.  I get excited over thunderstorms and giddy over snow.  Who knew that Job's friend, Elihu felt the same way?

I'm joining in again with the gratitude community at Ann's, counting gifts on this gorgeous foggy Monday morning...

... the beauty of weather
... the way the fog crystalizes on the trees
... the light of the sun shining through
... that His light burns off the fog in my heart
... unexpected snow

... for 15 years with my mancub
... for him wanting to spend the day with his dad
... for a girls day while they were gone
... for a quiet evening at home to watch the big game
... for family Bible reading

... for answered prayer
... for headaches that send me to the Throne
... for His healing and mercy

... for funds for Chad and Emme's trip
... for a girl who made "treats in a jar" all weekend
... for the gift of hard work
... and for the ownership that comes with it

... for a morning that he can sleep in
... for free wi/fi
... for daily lessons
... for knowing I have been carried through 

... for phone calls with my dad
... his laughter
... sharing in the joy of grandson antics
... for the "I love you" that comes at the end

... for the times we are a united front
... for the lessening times that we are not
... for face time
... for kids big enough to leave at home in search of face time

... for lunch with new friends
... for the ongoing joy of LEGOs
... for the friend who took an hour to brainstorm with me
... for the years of friendship

... for a day to run away
... the laughter of women
... seeing her smile and laugh and know that He answers prayer!
... knowing that there is always joy in the morning

... for a God who blows me away
... answers my prayer
... and gives me laughter


Saturday, February 04, 2012

celebrating friendships...


Sometimes you just have to 
get in your truck
with 3 great women
to run far away
for a few hours


Sometimes the only way to
take time to celebrate friendships
and birthdays is to make time


So when one has a 39th birthday
{for the 1st time, as she says}
you cannot NOT celebrate


So you journey back country roads
and state highways 
to travel back in time


just for lunch... 
turkey panini with spinach and artichoke 
pineapple, cantaloupe and Greek salad...
plum iced tea and tomato artichoke soup
and...


a half order of
raspberry apple bread pudding
'cuz you are just too full 
to consider a full order


Since you are so full...
you walk and look
and dream and laugh


cuz you know that time like this
is a gift and friends like these
don't come every day


so, sometimes you just have
to make time


to run away to Pickles
in Plumtickled Junction,
with 3 great women
to celebrate a life
and friendship


and...
we dare you to try 
to find this on 
any map 


we're confident you'd be hard pressed
to do so...


which is why we 
run far away
for a few hours


every once in a while.



of this... I am proud!

I've done five things in my life that I have NEVER regretted.  Five things, of which I am extremely proud.   Though, I could let go of everything else I have ever done without regret, I hold tightly to these five.  They even define who I am....


1) I accepted Jesus Christ as my personal Savior...
the greatest thing I have ever done

2) I married the man who has held my heart all these years...
my love, second only to Jesus Christ

3, 4, 5) three times over I gave birth, became a mom...
starting with the mancub 15 years ago...
today 


this one, right here...

he has been used of God to stretch me and shape me
he has made me laugh until tears flow
and weep until tears were spent


I like to think I can look at him
and think of all that I have done...

...and then I remember...
the things that I have done...

...and I bow the heart and thank the One
who has interceded on my behalf
and who has raised up this one 
to be a God-fearing mancub


fifteen years ago,
a young, naive, and exhausted mother
was handed her son...
HER SON!

and...
I wondered why they gave him to me?

Did they know I had NO idea how to take care 
of someone else?

so...
we learned together, my man and I
and we prayed...

and we pray.


thankfully, he is so much more like
his Heavenly Father
than his earthly mother!

and though I have failed him
time and time again...

of this one, I am proud!

Friday, February 03, 2012

what is REAL?



Joining in with the community at thegypsymama to write for 5 minutes today.  


The theme?  Real


GO


Real... is it the fog outside my window that matches the fog inside my head?  Is real what I see or what I feel or both?


Real... is it the fact that I can now see the entire floor to my laundry room?  We went 30 hours without clean dish towels.  Not that we really needed them... not sure I did dishes in that time.  Instead it was run here, go there, eat out, eat pb&j.  It's my reality... my real.  It's not the Norman Rockwellish, June Cleaver look that is in my head of all five of us sitting down for a beautiful meal every. single. meal.  Nope... real is the mountain of laundry that I conquered this morning to be able to see that floor and real is having clean dish towels for today.


Real... is it what I project my life when I blog?  Do others read my blog and see what I want them to see?  Do they see Martha Stewart or do they see the chaos/mess that is my life... my real?  


Real... do I let others see my real in REAL life?  Do I try to cover up the real with the cosmetic fake to look like the dutiful wife, good mom, obedient Christian, successful homeschooler?  Yes... I do try to cover up my warts, zits and blemishes but often my make-up runs off and I'm left standing in a puddle facing the real.


Real... it's all of this and more.


STOP


care to jump in with the 5 Minute Friday community?

Wednesday, February 01, 2012

NFL answers...

Here are the answers to the NFL riddle quiz I posted last night.   This may resurface for future Superbowl parties at our house.


How did you do?


1) Jets
2) Redskins
3) Bucc-an-eers
4) Raiders
5) G.I. ants
6) Browns
7) Saints
8) Cowboys
9) Seahawks
10) Ravens
11) 49ers
12) Chiefs
13) Chargers
14) Panthers
15) Falcons
16) Dol-phins
17) Pat-riots
18) Cardinals
19) Jaguars
20) Steelers
21) Tex(t)-ans
22) Lions
23) Ben-gals
24) The Eagles
25) Titans
26) Broncos
27) Bears
28) Packers
29) Bills
30) VI-kings
31) Rams
32) Colts

Tuesday, January 31, 2012

a little NFL fun..

Since I love football, especially NFL and the Superbowl is in Indy this year, I thought maybe this Indiana native {I am NOT a Hoosier} would entertain you with a little NFL fun.


I sat with my man and the mancub tonight and this mom rocked the game!  Only missed four... let me know if you top me.


This was in the latest edition of our electric company's newsletter.  Enjoy!  Answers will be posted later.


I'll even give you a clue to get you started... once again, my beloved Colts are on the bottom!


GAME OF THE NAMES

See how many of the 32 NFL teams you can identify from these playful clues.  Some are pretty out of bounds.  Good luck!

1) Played with Bennie
2) Inattentive sunbathers
3) $1 for corn
4) Midnight snackers
5) Insect-sized soldiers
6) Fed-Ex Competitors
7) They "go marching in"
8) Little male mooers
9) Marine bird
10) Quothed "nevermore"
11) Seven squared
12) Indian leaders
13) Electric co-op power lines
14) Spotless leopards
15) Trained birds of prey
16) Barbies 1959 Cadillac
17) Disturbances by Summerall, Riley and McAfee
18) Rules not to break
19) Fast, sporty and spotty
20) Trinidad drummers
21) Quick communicators
22) Kings of the jungle
23) Franklin's lady friends
24) Guests at the Hotel California
25) Fathers of the gods
26) Windpipes
27) Streakers
28) Loaders
29) IOUs
30) Six Rulers
31) Ewes' mates
32) Frisky foals

when you wonder what's next...

Contemplative today....


After today....
And a VERY muddy January, with today's high temp forecasted to be 57*... I wonder what's next.  Will February be cold and snowy?  Will it be mild?  Will I even be able to make maple syrup this year?




After his first dance...
I wonder what's next.  He went with the girl his dad and I hoped and prayed he would.  Our influence is waning though.  Will I love the next girl as much as I love Emma?  Do I pray for the women who will influence him?


After Saturday...
He will be 15.  So often I see him in the recliner with his iTouch and I wonder... where did we go wrong?  Why doesn't he have more motivation?  Why isn't he doing something productive?  And, then... I see him at church playing with the little boys... or putting away the sound equipment... or running the PowerPoint, and I hear a woman whisper in my ear, "he is such a good boy!"  


All of this makes me wonder... and pray... for him.  He faces things at school that no 15 year old should have to face and yet he is there with 2,000 other students all either facing those things or perpetuating them.  Do I pray enough?


After this school year...
She has loved her year at private school.  She has thrived and grown and matured in amazing ways.  Tomorrow we get up before the sun to go to a breakfast where she will be honored as "Student of the Week".   This is new to her, and to us.  When you are homeschooled you are either always student of the week or never student of the week....


I wonder about next year?  Will God send her back to private school or will she stay home?  I don't foresee her going to our public middle school for 7th grade but maybe she will.  Do I pray for His best in her life?


After today...
Sat and talked with my kindred spirit last night and she outlined the next book.  I laughed.  She said "this is what you should write!" and she laughed.  


I don't know... I don't even know what's going to happen with the one that is finished.  I wonder much... in one day, enough books sold to support one Compassion International child for one month.   Do I pray to be blown away?


I wonder...


...maybe I have the question wrong.  It's not "what's next, LORD?"... instead, it's "am I seeking you with all my heart?"


For I know the plans I have for you,” 
declares the LORD, 
“plans to prosper you and not to harm you, 
plans to give you hope and a future.  
Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, 
and I will listen to you.  
You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.  
I will be found by you,” declares the LORD, 
“and will bring you back from captivity. 
I will gather you from all the nations and places where I have banished you,” declares the LORD,
 “and will bring you back to the place 
from which I carried you into exile.”
Jeremiah 29:11-14

Monday, January 30, 2012

fear, grace, FREE Kindle app...and a GIFT for you!

It is impossible to give thanks
and simultaneously feel fear.
A. Voskamp (1000 Gifts, pg 203)

So much of my life has been wasted caving to fear... fear of the unknown and fear of people's reaction to me.  Both have been an incredible waste of time... and a stronghold of Satan on my heart.  

He's the master liar.  For years and years and years I didn't know this was his stronghold...  I believed his lies over God's truth.  

I am the way,
the truth,
and the life.
John 14:6

Somewhere along this journey called life, I even bought the lie that fear was more comfortable than freedom.  So, I stayed in my fear.

Then you will know
the truth and the truth
will set you free.
John 8:32

Until I sought freedom.  I didn't know when I took Ann's challenge and started counting gifts that I would be changed so.  I had put limits on His grace, and didn't even realize I had done it.   I didn't know His grace was THAT sufficient.  I didn't realize His grace would change me in ways I never knew need changing.

I've counted above and beyond 1000 in my quest to develop an attitude of gratitude.  In that journey, He has changed me above and beyond 1000 different ways. 

Most recently... by guiding me to let go of my fear of rejection and pursue a life long dream of publication.   He guided and I finally followed.  Not only did He guide, He taught.   He taught and I finally learned. 

When I clicked the last button on Saturday, I was sitting in the kitchen of my friend, Rachelle... gratefully using her super fast, unlimited wi/fi.  And, when completed all the steps to independently publish a book, I clicked the last button "publish" and I lifted my hands in gratitude.   

No fear,
just awe!

Last night, I reread parts of 1000 Gifts, and Ann's words jumped off the page...




It is impossible to give thanks
and simultaneously feel fear.
A. Voskamp (1000 Gifts, pg 203)


the grace gift list grows...

... for His guiding
... knowing I am upheld
... and carried
... and covered by Him

... free indie publishing
... pursing a goal
... friend's free wi/fi
... fellowship around a computer downloading files
... joint praise and worship and gratitude

... his first dance
... a friend who loans size 14 dress shoes
... and dress pants long enough
... and a shirt and tie
... a "date" who was the perfect one for a first dance

... his prayer over me
... his hand that reaches for mine 
... his warmth
... his companionship
... his understanding of this mess called me

~*~
for now, this novel...



...is only available as an eBook.   

Did you know that Amazon has a FREE KINDLE APP for your computer?  You can download this and read any eBook you want, right from your phone, macbook, laptop, or blackberry....



Here's a gift for YOU.  Today only... 50% off coupon for The Secret of Counting Gifts.  This coupon is only good by following this link and using this code.  This is a Smashwords coupon... it will not work in the Kindle Store.  However, Smashwords will give you a Kindle file that will read in your new Kindle app!


coupon code:

Your coupon code is LE65J (not case-sensitive)

... and for friends who love me enough to support this endeavor.

thank you!