Tuesday, January 31, 2012

when you wonder what's next...

Contemplative today....


After today....
And a VERY muddy January, with today's high temp forecasted to be 57*... I wonder what's next.  Will February be cold and snowy?  Will it be mild?  Will I even be able to make maple syrup this year?




After his first dance...
I wonder what's next.  He went with the girl his dad and I hoped and prayed he would.  Our influence is waning though.  Will I love the next girl as much as I love Emma?  Do I pray for the women who will influence him?


After Saturday...
He will be 15.  So often I see him in the recliner with his iTouch and I wonder... where did we go wrong?  Why doesn't he have more motivation?  Why isn't he doing something productive?  And, then... I see him at church playing with the little boys... or putting away the sound equipment... or running the PowerPoint, and I hear a woman whisper in my ear, "he is such a good boy!"  


All of this makes me wonder... and pray... for him.  He faces things at school that no 15 year old should have to face and yet he is there with 2,000 other students all either facing those things or perpetuating them.  Do I pray enough?


After this school year...
She has loved her year at private school.  She has thrived and grown and matured in amazing ways.  Tomorrow we get up before the sun to go to a breakfast where she will be honored as "Student of the Week".   This is new to her, and to us.  When you are homeschooled you are either always student of the week or never student of the week....


I wonder about next year?  Will God send her back to private school or will she stay home?  I don't foresee her going to our public middle school for 7th grade but maybe she will.  Do I pray for His best in her life?


After today...
Sat and talked with my kindred spirit last night and she outlined the next book.  I laughed.  She said "this is what you should write!" and she laughed.  


I don't know... I don't even know what's going to happen with the one that is finished.  I wonder much... in one day, enough books sold to support one Compassion International child for one month.   Do I pray to be blown away?


I wonder...


...maybe I have the question wrong.  It's not "what's next, LORD?"... instead, it's "am I seeking you with all my heart?"


For I know the plans I have for you,” 
declares the LORD, 
“plans to prosper you and not to harm you, 
plans to give you hope and a future.  
Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, 
and I will listen to you.  
You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.  
I will be found by you,” declares the LORD, 
“and will bring you back from captivity. 
I will gather you from all the nations and places where I have banished you,” declares the LORD,
 “and will bring you back to the place 
from which I carried you into exile.”
Jeremiah 29:11-14