Friday, January 06, 2012

restless...

I'm a restless mess...


I hesitate to post this... sometimes it seems like my tweets, status updates or posts are misunderstood.  Not all the time... but a lot... but, since I'm a restless mess, I might as well write about it.


I'm restless.  I hate waiting.  I don't wait well.  I don't even sit still when I'm not waiting for something... thus, when I find myself waiting I become a restless mess.  I haven't worn a hole in my floor pacing, nor have I cleaned my entire house {although, that would be a great idea}.  Instead, I've sat for a couple of hours wondering and waiting.


Today I pray for two friends.  I pray without words.  I feel as though my heart is at odds with my mind.  I want God's perfect will done... my way.  I know it doesn't work that way...it's just what I want in this moment.


I find my heart restless for them... restless for answers and next steps.  Restless for peace and joy when I have none to share.  Restless for my Jesus to just come restore His Kingdom.


... and, I'm thinking I will probably be a restless mess until He does just that.