...sometimes I wish I had really thick skin and other times I want to be full of compassion and a soft heart... can't have it both ways...my facebook status line this morning.
I'm struggling through some issues right now. There is a big part of me that pretends to have thick skin and pretends that nothing bothers me. There is an even bigger part, though, that is a quintessential people pleaser. I want everyone to be happy... I want everyone to like me... I want everyone to like what I've done.
Before you all start laughing out loud...rest assured that my mind knows the reality that I can not please everyone... and that most people won't like what I've done. While my heart may not always get it... I think my mind does.
Last night, I went to bed at 8:30 and pulled the covers over my head. I didn't think I even had the energy to try to discuss all that was weighing heavy on my heart with my Beloved. I knew an ugly cry was on the horizon and I took the easy exit....
One of the joys of only having one vehicle these days is that if I want to go anywhere during the day, I'm forced out of the warm confines of my bed in the dark. Chad had to be at work at 6:30 this morning and Eric to school at 7 a.m. So, the idea of staying there all day got nipped in the bud.
Honestly, seeking Him in the midst of heartache isn't always my first recourse. Often, in my hurt, I run away from the very One who heals. This morning, the healing came quickly because He found me. He gave me a morning where I couldn't hide under the covers. He showed me an incredible sliver of a moon this morning. He created an unusual cloud pattern... all the clouds moving west this morning. He allowed the clouds to move on so that the sun could rise over the horizon and light my kitchen. And, He met me in the pages of His Word.
And, if all that wasn't enough, Edie blogged this today about being vulnerable.
... continuing my Multitude Monday count...
... being married to one who understands
... early morning prayer with my boy
... a picturesque sliver of the moon
... cloud patterns that defy the norm
... extra sleep
... a God who finds me
... the same God who rescues me from under the covers
... passages of Bible study that meet me right where I am
... encouragement from another blogger
... the Light of His Word and the light of the sun
... a fun double date Friday night at my fave place!
... finding a potential kids' musical for $5.99 at CBD
... friends who uplift
... celebrating the birthdays of two dear friends this weekend
... indoor fun roller skating last night
... discovering less sugar=more energy
... the promise of BIG snow coming
... knowing that He has it all stored (Job 38:22)
... finding the joy in each season
... watching my 11 year daughter reaching out to a hurting friend yesterday