It's snowing! I love snowy days!! There's not much more I enjoy than scribbling a blog post on a snowy day....
Blogging has helped me realize many things about myself.... one of which is that I tend to be more quiet on my blog when God is really working in my heart and life. Lately, it seems as if He is getting ready to move mountains because I feel like He has brought in some big earth movers... you know like bulldozers... backhoes... Bobcats.
I'm finding a lot going on in my heart and in my head. I'm hopeful that all of this is Him doing His good work in me. Philippians 1:6 has been a favorite verse of mine since high school... "I am confident of this, He who began a good work in you will be faithful to complete it." I can't wait for that completion but I also know that I won't be complete in Him until the day I see Him face to face.
This week a bulldozer came in and pushed out a big pile of pride in my life. For years, I felt like I had to defend homeschooling. I felt like I was often put on the defensive when people, sometimes complete strangers, would question our choice of education for our kids. I have had all manner of rude comments made to me and in defense, I began a big, smelly, ugly pile of pride in my heart. I became very prideful of my education choice... because, of course, my choice was in line with God and their choice, equally obviously, wasn't. OUCH! I just said that out loud! Apparently, God has had enough with the stench of my heart because within a month the decision was made to send Eric to school for athletics. Yep. I became one of those moms who sold out her education stance for athletics. Not really, but that was how I felt. Though it was painful to admit that I was THAT proud, it feels good to have that pile gone. I really LIKE the school Eric is in and more importantly, he likes it and he has GREAT teachers and good friends. Who knew?! God knew!!
Apparently, once you are in moving mountains around, you might as well keep going because it's now time use a backhoe to move out a mountain as big as Mt. Everest in my heart... FOOD. Yep... food. I remember sitting in our family's living room in high school and telling my mom... "I just love to eat!" At that time, I thought I was HUGE.... looking back, not so much. But, I didn't get a handle on that love of food. Instead, I realized that I could manipulate my love of food with either extreme exercise or dieting rules. After I would follow some man made rules for a while or exercise excessively, I could go back to my own way... at least until my clothes no longer fit. Then, I would start the cycle all over again. My method didn't work well at all but I kept at it until almost 5 years ago when I had a complete hysterectomy. As you can well imagine... EVERYthing changed after that! Including my way of managing food. My way no longer worked at all. And, in my despair, I just clung to my love of food....knowing I was desperate... wanting to change... not knowing how. I love that God always knows how. He introduced me to a blogger named Lysa TerKeurst through my sister's blog. The backhoe He's moved in is a book titled Made to Crave... learning to love God more than I love food.
I love that nothing is impossible for my God. I love that He moves mountains at will and that He is faithful to complete the work He began in all of us. It's rarely easy and most often painful to be molded and shaped into His image... however, it's always good!
While blogging on this snowy day, I feel like He just gave me a word picture of what it is He is working on in my heart and in my head.