Wednesday, January 12, 2011

finding my voice...

It's been two years since I blogged my first post.  Two years of writing... of learning... of growing.... Two years of seeking and of finding... seeking my "voice"... that distinct way of writing that sums up who I am and whose I am... and instead of  finding it... I find Him.


I struggle because I want to be distinct... unique... uncommon... noticed.  Yet, I don't know how to be.  I don't know how to be a blogger who attracts thousands of readers... speaks at conferences... writes books.  I don't even know if I want to be... but my selfishness demands that blogging somehow be about me and my distinctness.


I've tried on different voices over these two years... tried to write like others... tried to be unique.... struggled through finding words for the chaos in my head.  Sometimes the words come and I masquerade through cyberspace.... sounding unique... or wise... or at the least, sounding like I know of that which I speak.  Other times... words fall flat... splat!


At the end of the struggle, I can only be me... a struggling mom, wife, teacher, sister, daughter... nothing distinct, unique, uncommon.  A sinner saved by grace... living in His mercy... seeking His favor.


Seeking His favor means just that... I seek Him, not myself.  I no longer seek for a voice... because the Voice is there... I only have to listen to hear it.  I no longer search for my voice among thousands.  Instead, I strain to hear the One Voice that is distinct... unique... uncommon... the voice of Truth.

4 comments:

  1. ...and yet by echoing His voice, you are unique, special, distinct, and definately a much needed voice in this here blogging world. Thanks for your voice. I am not sure you know this, but you were one of the first people to really validate me in my blogging...to give me courage to put it all out there. Thanks for that!! Thanks for your voice. IT helped me find my voice.

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  2. It's so ironic that you should write this specific post when you did because I was struggling with the exact same thing when I read it. God gently reminded me that even though in so many ways I feel completely invisible and unknown, He knows me and that's all that really matters. You are making a difference with your writing, though, Heidi. I've enjoyed getting to know your "voice."

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  3. You reminded me that I am doing Kingdom Work on our trip to Ohio. . .and I know you know you are too.. .but sometimes I think we all lose sight of that reality. The reality that right now, we are doing all He wants us to do and when the time is right we might get the chance to do more!

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  4. Hi, Heidi! Your link was in backwards, so I edited it for you. I think it should work properly right now. If you could please add a link back to me or my party button to your post, I would appreciate it.

    Finding your own voice IS so important! It's hard to not want to imitate the "popular" writers out there, but I think it's so much more special when you use the voice God gave you. :) Thanks for sharing.

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Thank you for your kind words!