Tuesday, March 06, 2012

when a "no, thank you" changes everything

"But, God, this is HUGE..."


"But, God, what will they think?"


"But, God, I'm only a mom from Indiana..."

"Obey"

This is the true-life struggle my heart faced over the past 2 weeks.  Suffice it to say, there was a lot of "...but, God..." going on in this heart of mine.  

My God was calling me to seriously step out of my comfort zone... like, step-into-the-Jordan-River-and-watch-Me-work... type of stepping out.   The classic self-will vs. obedience battle raged fierce and hot in my heart.  I'm not a daring type of girl.

Finally, I surrendered (isn't that what life is all about, anyway?).  Sunday, I obeyed.  I sent an email (yes... this battle was over a simple email) and put myself out there.  I asked for a huge thing.  

Guess what?

Nothing changed.  I did receive a very pleasant "no, thank you" reply.   Actually, it was the nicest, kindest, most gracious negative response EVER.   Still... nothing changed.

My today looks just like my Sunday did.... just like my last Friday did.  Book sales are stagnant, my house looks like a perpetual whirlwind, and there is STILL laundry on the floor of the laundry room (I thought I did laundry all day yesterday...).   My life today looks the same....

... but...

... my heart doesn't.  I realized last night that though on the outside everything appears the same, the inside is radically different.  Obedience and stepping out in faith has changed my heart... my attitude... my outlook for the future.

I feel, as though, God has parted the Jordan River of my heart and has shown me... again... that His way is good and kind and gracious.... that He loves me and has a plan for me... my role is to be one of simple obedience...

...nothing more, nothing less, nothing else.

Which means, I need to stop saying "but, God..." and instead say, "Yes, God!"




5 comments:

  1. Although I'm sure the specifics are different, it sounds like God has you & I on similar journies. I, too, have been struggling with the fact that God has asked me to get out of my comfort zone in a variety of situations (mainly relational) and I, too, have uttered, "But God..." more times than I can count. But like you, I have also found incredible peace in the act of obedience and I love what he is teaching me about himself through the process of me trusting that his ways are best. Blessings for your journey with God today!

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  2. Oh Heidi. I am suppose to speak at a MOPS gathering in less than two weeks. Just the fact that I am speaking is a "yes God" moment, but this is what I've chosen to speak on. Saying "yes" to God and accepting God's calling on our lives, no matter how huge and scary, or small and significant it might seem. 'Was encouraged today just reading your post.

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  3. Heidi,
    Loved this post. Yes, a forging in the heart is the best. What a relief after we step out in faithful obedience God will sustain us no matter the result. Found you at Write It, Girl.
    Brooke

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  4. Oh, how it can be so difficult to truly be obedient to God!! Thank-you for this encouragement to get id of the "but Gods" & allow God to work in us!
    Blessings,
    Jessica

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  5. Yes it's all about simple obedience!!! Love this reminder:)

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Thank you for your kind words!