But I have learned in my life
that grace often gestates, like an unborn child.
And when the expectant mother grabs the hospital-prepared
suitcase and screams, "Let's go!" then you'd better go.
All Is Grace
I love this! What a beautiful word picture of the way Grace often floods my heart, soul, and life with grace. It gestates and it comes NOW!
Life is disappointing... it's what I do with the disappointment that makes all the difference in the world. Yesterday, I reverted to a 30 year old habit of dealing with disappointment... journaling. Writing. Recording in words the hurt, the confusion, the pain. I wrote for myself and recorded it in cyberspace as a small sacrifice of praising in the storm. I wrote, I confessed, I praised, and then I walked away... and grace came.
In those after moments of surrendering it all and letting go, Grace came and expanded in that vacant space like a billowing endless cloud. Every tiny crevice of my scarred soul was emptied of me and my disappointments and filled with Grace. A day of endless gifts...
... a slow morning to work through my heart issues
... a new book, by an old man, to lead me in this search that All Is Grace
... a phone call and laughter filled with 25 years of friendship
... a new prayer journal and a grace filled lunch with my kindred spirit
... a peace that flooded every moment
... loose jeans
... heart rest from battling a war that was already won
... a great morning of catching up on some math work with a happy heart
... good occupational therapy time for Eric
... the chance to pick up 16 pizzas and 90+ popsicles and feed the children at the youth club
... 40 minutes, by myself, in the waning sunlight to work on a new campfire pit
I wonder how many times Grace is waiting... wanting to gestate... wanting to birth out of me the wonder of new grace and I am the one who forbids it. My white-knuckled grip to my self-righteousness doesn't leave room for grace to gestate. Instead of surrendering to the birth moment, I push it away and helplessly cling to the poison that fills my heart.
... today I am, again, grateful for Grace and the grace that gestates like an unborn baby. Thank you, Brennan Manning, for these words in the twilight of your life.
linking up today with...