I hate him!!

So struggling to find words tonight. Struggling to sort out the emotions in my heart. Struggling to make sense of things that make no sense to my human heart... to my human understanding.

I know two things for sure in this storm in my soul. First, and always foremost, God is God! He loves me. He loves others. He loves my friends and family more than I could ever hope to love and His love is never EVER compromised, no matter what His archenemy tries to do.

Secondly, I know, this enemy of God has come to steal, kill and destroy (John 10:10). His name is Satan and he doesn't play fair and he doesn't have favorites. He goes for the kill each and every time. He's after my loved ones and I hate it!!

This enemy, this low-down scum, is attempting to destroy a beautiful family. A family that was placed together just a year ago. A family that is trying to show God's love to broken and bruised young hearts. The very foundation of this family is being challenged this week in court (the very court system in this good ole U S of A that the enemy seems to have infiltrated already). He's here to steal, kill and destroy this family. This family includes my cousin and her wonderful husband. I am so proud to be related to Kevin and Susan! They amaze me in all that they do and I do not want the enemy to have any victory in their family...so I pray because 'greater is He that is in you than He that is in the world!' (1 John 4:4)

If one family were not enough to destroy, Satan simultaneously is seeking to destroy a family in our church. Chad and I have had the privilege of getting to know these precious friends. They have allowed us to walk along side them over the last 6 months or so. I feel like we've built a friendship that is now being compromised by miscommunication, hurt feelings and pride. Ultimately, compromised by the enemy... by the one who wants to steal, kill and destroy.

I hate him! He makes me so mad! I know that Jehovah wins the war but I sure wish Satan didn't win any battles. However, I guess I have lived enough to know that he does. He wins when each of us give into him. He wins when we allow him to convince us that we are failures. He wins when we allow him to convince us that others are out to get us. He wins when families are destroyed and marriages are killed. He wins anytime our focus and attention is on ourselves and not on Jesus.

He also wins when our attention is on him and not on the One who is in control. I give him the victory too many times and so tonight I will not dwell on the deceiver but on the One who gained the victory over death and over the grave. I will praise Him, my Jesus, my Redeemer and I will stand in the gap for those who are under incredible attack from His archenemy and mine and I will pray for victory in their lives from the enemy. But, just for the record... I still hate him!!!!!!!!

1 Peter 5:8-11 Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that your brothers throughout the world are undergoing the same kind of sufferings. And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast. To him be the power for ever and ever. Amen.