Friday, December 11, 2009

God in the details...

I love my sister's blog name "in the details". Since I read her first post, I have been trying to consciously look for God in the details of my life. He is there! I know He is but I don't often recognize or thank Him for His involvement. I don't want to ever, EVER take Him for granted, and yet I do. So, I'm attempting to train my mind, my eyes and my heart to see and recognize Him where I wouldn't have previously noticed Him. I'm also working on training my mind and heart to thank Him when I do see Him at work in the details of my life.

Here's the story of one of the times that I recognized Him this week.... Tuesday I went to the doctor because of this bronchitis I have. Of course, going to the doctor usually means stepping on the scale (need I say more?). Seriously, I always consider the scale before I decide if I am sick enough to make an appointment. So, when it began to hurt to breathe, the pain outweighed the fear of the scale and I went... and I got on the scale.

I feel like I need to tell you a little of my journey. Almost four years ago, God made me face my dieting/exercise obsession and my love of food (they were hand-in-hand best friends in my heart). It's been a slow process. It's been a painful process. It's been a life-changing process because for 3 1/2 years the weight didn't come off but my heart fell more and more in love with Jesus.

In the past, I obsessed much more about my weight than I did about God. I have been known to weigh myself 4-5 times a day. My outlook on life directly reflected what the scale said. The biggest obsession for me was the actual number of my weight. I didn't care so much the size I wore but I have cried bitter tears more times than I care to remember over the number on the scale. The answer after the tears was to diet. I've tried every diet imaginable and then some.

So, 3 years ago, I threw away my scale (again, I had already done that twice) and committed to spending every single day with God. I agonized over the fact that my husband dropped 45 pounds in 3 months but I still kept to my promise and I didn't get on the scale or start a new diet. Instead, I took one day at a time, ate healthy, and trusted that somehow, some way, I would learn to be okay with never losing weight or dieting again.

Finally, this summer and fall, God allowed some weight to go. I'm now 2 sizes smaller than I was but here is the big clincher.... Remember the scale at the dr's office? I seriously am 2 sizes smaller but according to the scale...I dropped a whopping 7 pounds. Is that not God in the details? It just goes to show me that I still need more heart surgery. I need the Great Physician to continue working on my heart so that I love Him and obsess about Him more than any number on any scale at any doctor's office.

I'm so thankful my sister challenged me to look for God in the details of my life. Now it's my turn to challenge you. I hope you can find Him when you seek Him with all your heart!


1 comment:

  1. glad I was an encouragement!! So thankful for the 7 pounds! You look great!

    Gabe

    ReplyDelete

Thank you for your kind words!