Jesus size holes...

I can't get her out of my mind.... She came in to the toy give-away yesterday... an unknown in a sea of faces... identified only by a worn brown coat.  She came for new toys for her children... she thought she left with Jesus.


I didn't see her.  I don't know her name... or what she looks like.  I have no idea how many children she has or which toys she took.  She quietly came in while I was out... just a number... maybe A-1032 or C-77 or B-1102... no one remembers...


I didn't sleep much last night... couldn't get her out of my mind.  My heart is heavy for her... I prayed... or tried to pray... mostly the Spirit intervened because I couldn't articulate what my heart was feeling.  


I begged Him to bring her back today... I wanted a 2nd chance with her... an opportunity to give her what she didn't take.  My heart longed for a chance to share the greatest Gift ever with her.  


She didn't come... and yet I pray.  I pray for this one... this mom who is struggling through life... searching for something to fill the emptiness inside.  I pray to the One who intimately knows this faceless, nameless mom with the worn brown coat.  I pray that she would find Him in her search.  


All I know of her is that she came searching for more than a few Christmas toys for her children... this I know because this woman quietly lifted Baby Jesus from the manger scene on the table and slipped it in her pocket as she walked out the door.  


I want to tell her that you can't take what is freely given and that what she took won't fill the Jesus size hole in her heart... 


So, I wrapped the remainder of the manger scene with a Bible and waited for her to come... I waited with a pretty box and a new Bible... thinking I would be the one to show her Jesus.  
"What are you going to do if she doesn't come, Mom?"  the question of the wise 7 year old.


And when she didn't show... Jesus showed Himself to me...  


We all have Jesus sized holes in our hearts and in our desperation, we often grab at anything that looks like it might fill the empty space and slip it into our pockets... sometimes buying, sometimes borrowing, sometimes stealing... only to get home and realize that what we got doesn't fit and we are still empty... and more desperate... because we can't fill a Jesus size hole with anything less than the One True Jesus... 


... and you can't steal what is freely given.