grateful for Guatemala...

I miss her... this almost 13 year old of mine... and I miss then one she is with more.  I miss them with my whole heart... this heart of mine that is tied up in knots this week.  


I know that she will return on Sunday full of smiles and stories and joy.  She will tell me about surgeries she watched and patients she helped for pre-op or post-op.  She will tell me of her love of Guatemala and its people... and of her love for all things medicine.  She will return and I will hold on to her for a little while longer.


This picture... its the future of Emme.  There will be a day when she will go... and stay.  I am confident of this... for I know her heart.  I know that her heart was made to serve in this way.  My mother's brain knows this... my mother's heart ties up in a new knot... and I pray.


I pray much this week.  I think I pray for me more than for them.  I pray that somehow I will make it through.  I count the days (5 1/2 more...) as I lie awake at night.  Then I do what my heart is being conditioned to do... I count gifts.  


I give thanks.

I thank Him for Guatemala and for this opportunity.  

I thank Him that Guatemala has stolen her heart and his.  

I thank Him for what she will see and what she will do.  

I thank Him for His work... started last year at this time in an 11 year-old heart.  

I thank Him that she loves what she is doing this week.  

I thank Him for modern technology that I could even get this picture across the miles

and across a continent.

...because the honest answer is I wasn't grateful and I wasn't giving thanks last week.  I sent them off with a heart full of resentment.  I told him so.  I spewed venomous words in my anger.  He took those words with him when I dropped them off.  I brought the resentful heart home with me.

God's been working on the resentment.  He's showing me that gratitude is the cure for a good many things... discontentment, jealousy, pride, anger, self-righteousness... and resentment.  It's a lesson I hate learning, but one I need!

...so I look at this picture of this girl I love and I thank Him for Guatemala.