Sitting here in the quiet of my living room... it's the first time I've been quiet in a few weeks... really, really quiet. There is a stillness in my soul that feels oh-so-right and a peace in this moment.
Sitting here in the quiet with the mancub... that one who is more man than cub every. single. day. Took him, today, to ask about a job application that he turned in a couple of weeks ago. I heard him say "I'm almost 15" and my heart skipped a beat. Almost 15? How? When? Where?
This child of mine who is 6'2". The one I carried heavy in my womb 15 Christmas' ago. That one time in my life where I thought I could maybe understand a bit of Mary's journey as I felt him move and dwell deep within. That one who came... finally! 3 inductions and 3o hours later. He who turned my world upside down and inside out and left me aching for more children.
I look at him in wonder... and I wonder... what did Mary think? I know the Word says "she pondered these things in her heart" (Luke 2:19). I used to think she pondered the newborn son and the fact that a host of angels announced His birth. I used to think it was a one time pondering of a mother holding her newborn... counting fingers and toes, watching a wee chest rise and fall... holding him close to her breast in awe that she sustained Him.
I now wonder... was Mary's pondering more than that? Did she ponder for 33 years? Did she look at her 5 year old Son and be in awe of His goodness? Did she wonder where 15 years went? Did she look at the young man that worked willingly by his father's side and wonder of the relationship that was father/son but not Father/Son?
As a mother, of a first-born son, I'm thinking Mary must have many quiet thoughts... pondered many things... many times... as she treasured all within her heart.