Monday, April 04, 2011
the stuff life's made of... hard eucharisteo
It's so easy to talk about giving thanks... to give out copies of Ann's book... to encourage friends to start counting the ways God loves... to look for gifts of grace.... to talk about a life of eucharisteo...
What about the hard stuff of life? The messy? The ugly? Is there eucharisteo there? Is there eucharisteo in the days when marriage is nothing more than hard work? Can I see beyond the hurt... the pain... the accusations my heart makes to see the gift of grace? Can I go one step further and not only see that gift of grace but choose to be God's gift of grace to the one who has wounded me... again?
Is there eucharisteo in the volcano experiment? Not the home school science baking soda and vinegar variety of volcano but the hot, bubbling, emotional explosion of a wife and mother who has had more than enough. The kind of volcanic eruption that burns long after the magma hits the fan... cuts deep and wounds deeper. Can I dig through the hardened lava to find forgiveness... grace... acceptance... joy... love?
What is it about counting gifts... living eucharisteo that leads me back to my own hard heart... messy self... ugly stuff? Is this what grace really is? Seeing what grace has done in my life and willingly... lovingly... generously giving grace... not because it's deserved but because it's never deserved. And, doing this over and over... all the way to 70x7 (Matthew 18:22) because He never stops gracing me.
...in this journey toward a life of eucharisteo (Greek... means to be grateful, feel thankful, to give thanks) I keep counting...
... for almost 17 years of this thing called marriage
... for the joy and the pain because in the end, I wouldn't trade it
... realizing that for as much as I feel wounded... I have wounded more
... thankful that he hasn't left... though I'm sure he's been tempted a time or two
... steadfast love
... lessons in life that change me
... knowing that the tractor started because I was willing to say "thank you"
... forgiveness... again and again and again and again... to infinity
... family fun working together
... laughter after tears
... letting go of the ugly... messy... painful and clinging to all that is good... right... lovely
... seeking Him and seeking him
... working toward continual eucharisteo
... finding Ann and her words
... knowing that His timing is perfect
joining in the community to count on this Multitude Monday...