Monday, February 14, 2011

I {heart} these words...

...perhaps I'm finally getting it.  I've mentioned before that I'm not the brightest bulb in the blogging box... and this may just prove that theory.  


If you have somehow missed my raving review about Ann's book...
let me just say again... I {heart} these words!  I devoured it cover to cover when I first received it a month ago.  Since then I keep giving away my own copy... so I have reread parts of it two or three times before I feel the Spirit's tug to hand Ann's words over to another woman... just this weekend during a wedding reception, I inscribed the inside page to a bride leaving for a new life in Spain.  I was at the wedding as a lifelong friend of the groom's family.  I had met the bride, for the first time, the night before while helping at the rehearsal dinner. The bride and groom are taking only 4 pieces of luggage with them to Spain and packing is at a premium and yet I felt the Spirit saying "give her your book."  So, with a hug and an apology for "one more thing to take with you" I handed her words that have strengthened my faith, renewed my trust and opened my eyes to grace.


Have no fear... copies 12 and 13 are in route via shipping to me soon.  Three times I have thought "I am going to hold on to this copy for me" and three times, I have known it was right to pass it on.  So, I no longer anticipate that I will have my own copy for any length of time, and that is okay.  He keeps replacing it and giving me more to pass on.


All of this to say, I have read Ann's words... I've counted gifts of grace... and I've passed her words along to others and I think it was finally on Friday that I began to get it... began to see the wisdom in "a dare to LIVE FULLY right where you are".  


The battle I've been in is one that I've fought for over 25 years.  It's the battle that I've never been comfortable in the skin I'm in.  I'm always trying to fix it... always wanting someone else's skin... always thinking "if I could just change this.... I would be happy."  


What if the key to joy is daring to LIVE FULLY in the skin I'm in?  Literally in this skin that covers my 5' 9" large frame?  What if I stopped trying to be thinner... prettier... smoother and started being thankful for this body that He saw fit to assign to me?  What would happen if my list of 1000 Gifts included...


#889- #899


...this body that I've wasted too many years hating
...these legs that are strong
...this stretched skin that 3 beautiful, healthy babies left behind
...these lines on my face caused by laughter
...this heart that beats and bleeds
...breasts that haven't been ravished by cancer
...these shoulders that carry much
...two arms that have spent many days wrapped around my children
...this body that my man has come home to for almost 17 years
...learning to give thanks for all things in all circumstances for this is the will of Him


I dared to try it... I dared to write these things down in my gratitude journal... I dared to write them here, now on this post... I'm daring to learn to live fully in the skin I'm in.


...and I think I may finally be getting it... I can't dare to live fully right where I'm at until I dare to LIVE FULLY in the skin I'm in.


I {heart} these words.

7 comments:

  1. May you always live each day fully to the glory of God, Heidi! You are beautiful!

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  2. this must have been difficult. . .but freeing!

    Hope you are on your way to living more freely!

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  3. I’m here from Ann’s today.

    First – Ann would LOVE YOU TO PIECES. And to be actually who we are – just as we are – except perfect by the Grace of God – I’m glad you have come to this. I’m still working on it.

    My favorite from your thankful list is this one … learning to give thanks for all things in all circumstances for this is the will of Him (because I’m learning the same – and learning it the same way)

    Oh, and Happy Valentine’s Day.

    God Bless and Keep you and your family

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  4. When we put our private battles in the public light, Satan's lies are instantly illuminated and exposed. You have always been an amazing young woman in my eyes; and more importantly in the eyes of God! ... and the truth will set you free!

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  5. That's a challenge I face too...and the dare to live fully is an amazing one! I too heart Ann's words!

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  6. Thank you, dear Heidi. Made me all teary-eyed..again, as I know this battle all too well!

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  7. oh heidi. your transparency is beautifully sweet. so thankful that the Lord is making us both more and more beautiful every day.

    "...beauty is fading and charm is deceptive, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised..."

    amy in peru

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Thank you for your kind words!