After spending parts of today with three different friends who spoke words of truth seasoned with love and spiced with humor into my bruised and bleeding heart, I am better than I was earlier today. To those who have prayed... thank you!
My friend, Ginger, said today, "I often don't know how to pray for you because you seem to have it all together." So, lest she think I have it all together, she saw a very raw glimpse into my heart today. A heart that was angry with God. A soul much like a spoiled child stomping her foot... shaking a closed fist at her Creator.
It comes down to this... again... He is God, I am not. I have no authority. I have no vote. I only have faith. Faith to believe Him when He says He has a plan for my life... a plan for good not for harm... a plan to glorify Himself.
I don't know why He has seen fit to not heal me. Perhaps this is what Paul spoke of when he spoke of his thorn in the flesh. I do not know. I only know that for whatever reason I am in this season and He is still God and He is still good.
And instead of clenching my fist, I've decided to open my hands to receive His blessings rather than insist on my own.
... and "thank you" doesn't seem like enough gratitude for your prayers.
Oh, Heidi, I know these struggles do just that....remind us of our complete dependence on Him. May God continue to bless you with much faith, my friend, and may you know His peace that passes all understanding. What a blessing to have those friends right there with you to encourage you!
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