Tuesday, October 05, 2010
to moms of little people...
Seems like the LORD has been bringing young moms to mind lately. My heart feels for them. It's hard work when you are a mom of little people. I haven't been out of that realm long enough to forget how hard it is!
Last night, a friend on facebook asked me some very pointed questions about mothering more than one little person... things like... how do you do it all? Will I survive? Will my kids survive? Am I going crazy? HELP!!!
This was my answer to her and I hope it can encourage another mom as well...
Right now, your job is 100% manual labor. I'm sorry. I promise that it won't last forever but I equally promise that there will be days that feel like they will last forever!!! For years I think I lived each day looking forward to nap time and bed time!
So... the golden question is how do you survive the next few years? The only answer I can come up with is this...
one day at a time.... Not exactly sage wisdom. Sorry!
~If you can be a part of MOPS or Moms Morning Out or any other such thing, I say GO FOR IT!! MOPS was my oasis. It was hard to get out of the house early two mornings a month but it was SO worth it for me. Just to have 2 hours where I could talk to other moms and have someone watch my kids was a small taste of heaven.
~My own personal quiet time was where I struggled the most when I had little people at home. It didn't matter what time I got up (seriously, I tried 4 a.m. for a while!), someone would hear me and I would hear the pitter patter of little feet.... arrrggghhh!!!! I wish someone would have given me "permission" to just read a verse or Our Daily Bread or something else equally simple. Instead, I tried to do too much and found myself getting more and more frustrated. So, I'm giving you permission to be easier on yourself. Study the Word when you can but don't guilt yourself into trying to have indepth Bible study every day. Guilt is not from Him...it's from the enemy!
~Another area that was a huge struggle was finding time to exercise. I finally gave up. It was just too hard to try to fit it in. Especially considering Chad was either working 24 hour shifts, or 3 jobs or in nursing school. There was no planning "me time". I used to envy women who would say "I just told my husband I needed some me time and I have every Wednesday to myself!" WHAT?!? HOW DO YOU DO THAT?!?! Once again... I only found myself more and more frustrated. When I realized I was taking my frustration out on the kids... I stopped focusing on trying to get to exercise and instead just played with my kids.
~Date your man at home. You don't have to spend lots of money and time trying to find a sitter. Instead, plan special times at home. Until we couldn't get away with it anymore (seriously... maybe only 3 years ago) we would put our kids to bed early (somedays we withheld naps so they would go to sleep) and we would grill steak or cook shrimp together and just talk. In all of our 16 years, those were my favorite dates. Sometimes Chad would do baths and bedtime and I would cook or vice versa. Either way, there was something special about teamwork to make the date work. We were both so "hungry" for the chance to just talk uninterrupted. When we had tiny ones we would put them in their bouncy seat or swing and let them fall asleep there so that we got a few more minutes together.
~I guess my greatest advice would be... don't stop talking to your man about your frustrations. Keep the line of communication open. Let him know when you've had enough. Sometimes he'll be able to help and sometimes not but keeping it inside only makes it worse. ; )
You're doing Kingdom Work!!